Curiosity and Revolt Against My Own Rules

Oliver was a Bass guitarist, skinny, tall, awkward and soft spoken. A true stoner and a philosopher of sorts. 

*Man do I pick ’em*

He was my source of revenge against Houston but also to feed my hungry curiosity. 

“Curiosity killed the cat” I know that’s what y’all are thinking. 

Well we dated all the way till October and in that time we learned about each other and how we think. Our opinions on religion and humanity. What kind of music intrigued us. I went to all his bands shows. I smoked with him and his friends all the time. We were more friends than we were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

Houston hated me. I could smell the hatred rotting his intestines from the inside out. Hate is a poison you feed yourself. I was having no part in it. I guess you could say I’m cruel or a sadist although I disagree. At the time I believed he well deserved it. Nothing could quinch my sexual thirst like he did so if he was going to treat me like shit then I’d punish him emotionally. 

I tried having sex with Oliver, I did have sex with Oliver, it wasn’t very good though. I admit, he did what he could to please me and I did successfully orgasm once or twice with him. Majority of the time it was faked to get him off of me. 

Over time we became more distant and eventually broke up. My reason? He wasn’t good at pleasuring me and he dropped out of school and wasn’t looking for a job mooching off his parents. I wanted someone with initiative and drive. 

“Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.” Only it wasn’t as satisfying. 

Houston got word that Oliver and I split up and he gave me a call. He had moved in with his mom to help her pay for bills and stuff since his parents had decided to separate. I drove to him and we talked for a long time and I told him why I had made my choices. 

He grinned and told me what a little shit I was. That he was sorry for behaving how he did. We went swimming the next night and we fooled around in the pool and then he carried me inside and threw me in his bed. 

Commence one of the most intense fuck sessions of my life. 

It was as if he were taking his anger out on me but in a “gentle” way? I can’t explain it without getting graphic. I just remember his tounge curling around my ear while his hand serviced down there and simultaneously fucked me like crazy.  The multitasking of that man. We had sex three times that night and then I left in the morning. 

The next days to follow were stagnant. It was as if time was slowly leaking from a hairline crack in the walls of life. Talking to him was… uninteresting and boring. I had nothing to say to him and he had nothing to say to me. We left things there for the most part. Talked on and off but our “relationship” went away very fast. 

At my job at Haveys Hardware my interest went in another direction. l, against my better judgment, (I have a rule about not dating people I work with. Guess I revolted against my own rules.) met a on site technician/repair guy who was too intelligent for his own good. *Tommy #1*

Tommy was an extremely intelligent guy. Majored in rocket science. Kind of guy who makes you think of “Sheldon” from “The Big Bang Theory.” Only not as intense. That relationship was purely innocent at the start. 

We almost had sex one night in the back of his car but there was no pennitration. He immediately accused me of having a STD the next day when his dick was a little sensitive and itchy. 

I went and got tested, after waiting days for that result and feeling completely mortified the test came back negative. I informed him I didn’t have and STD and he apologized. (He had honestly made me feel so gross and awful.)  Our relationship got rockier from there. 

The sex was good-ish and when I told him what I liked in bed he complied. It was faked, forced even and I told him to forget what I liked and to just be himself. He felt insulted and upset so, that didn’t go over very well. 

After that I couldn’t stick it out with him.

He knew he was smart, he made it known. He put others, (including myself) down and constantly disregarded people’s feelings. I pushed him away and eventually broke up with him shortly after Valentine’s Day. He was upset but remained professional at work. 

Two short weeks after we split up I met someone else. Someone who would make the next 9 months of my life mostly miserable. 

*man do I pick ’em: for a while I seemed to date guys who smoked and drank and made poor decisions. So that would be sarcasm my friends. 

*Tommy: I literally went on to get involved with 3 other Tommies, you’ll hear about it later. 

Firey Sex and Great Revenge

After I graduated guys came out of the wood work at me. 

“I liked you so much in high school, I never had the courage to talk to you.” 

“You’re so gorgeous let me take you out on a date.” 

Stupid shit like that. 

I was too into Houston to care about any of them though. Houston had this egotistical confidence that was disgusting and attractive. Dominant personality and greedy. Once he put his hands on me I felt drugged. 

The first time was when I was a freshman. He put his hand down my pants in the hallway. Right in front of everyone. But no one saw because of how we were positioned, because of the pillar in front of us. It was quick and fast and to prove a point. (We had been playfully debating) That he simply could and that he made me wet without doing anything. 

He wasn’t wildly attractive. He wasn’t super muscular. He was very cute though and a decent body. He was funny. Sarcastic. Self depreciating but not in a bad way or in a way that makes you uncomfortable. 

I always acted as though I couldn’t care less weather he was interested or not but deep down I cared. I cared a lot. 

The night I graduated I went to a party at his house. Everyone was in the garage. Soft core porn on the tv in the back ground. Beers. Weed. He was two years older than me. All his friends were older too. One of the guys at the party, Colton, was drunk and grabbed my boob. Houston, almost broke his hand. 

When I left about 30 minutes later Houston walked me to my car and kissed my forehead and apologized for Coltons behavior. After that we were almost inseparable for the rest of the month. I snuck out of my house to go see him all the time and we kissed and played with each other but didn’t fuck. 

One night in particular though he had to see me. He drove to me and picked me up and I gave him *road head* all the way to his house. We always hung out in the garage. Their was a couch and chairs and a tv and a plush rug. I was sitting on his lap while e played a card game with his friends, Alex, Darius and Oscar. I was spaced out from smoking and in my own world enjoying being in Houstons presence when the guys got up and left. 

Houston and I started making out and then he ripped my shirt. Like. Tore it in half and picked me up and was fucking me. It happened so fast and so unexpectedly. I was hooked. His mouth was greedy and he wanted the air from my lungs. Our sex was firey and passionate and rough. His hand in my hair was a control but not pain. He curled his hand around my throat lovingly and would bring his body close to mine slowing the rhythm. 

In the middle of this the garage door began to open. I remember being on top and Alex and Darius standing with the garage half open gawking at our naked bodies. It wasn’t until I started laughing like an idiot that they chuckled and closed the garage door again. It truly didn’t bother me. (I sometimes wonder if it was the weed or the subspace I was in from giving my self so wholly to someone.) 

He was amazing as far as sex went. After June, after we had had sex several times he became distant and mean and cruel. He said mean things to me that would make me cry and verbally asualt me around his friends. Calling me slurs and laughing. So I broke up with him. And made him cry. Plus I started dating one of his friends, Oliver. 

*Road head: when a person performs oral sex for another person who is operating a motor vehicle.  (if you didn’t/don’t know what this is I suggest looking at urban dictionary for further explanation.)