Curiosity and Revolt Against My Own Rules

Oliver was a Bass guitarist, skinny, tall, awkward and soft spoken. A true stoner and a philosopher of sorts. 

*Man do I pick ’em*

He was my source of revenge against Houston but also to feed my hungry curiosity. 

“Curiosity killed the cat” I know that’s what y’all are thinking. 

Well we dated all the way till October and in that time we learned about each other and how we think. Our opinions on religion and humanity. What kind of music intrigued us. I went to all his bands shows. I smoked with him and his friends all the time. We were more friends than we were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

Houston hated me. I could smell the hatred rotting his intestines from the inside out. Hate is a poison you feed yourself. I was having no part in it. I guess you could say I’m cruel or a sadist although I disagree. At the time I believed he well deserved it. Nothing could quinch my sexual thirst like he did so if he was going to treat me like shit then I’d punish him emotionally. 

I tried having sex with Oliver, I did have sex with Oliver, it wasn’t very good though. I admit, he did what he could to please me and I did successfully orgasm once or twice with him. Majority of the time it was faked to get him off of me. 

Over time we became more distant and eventually broke up. My reason? He wasn’t good at pleasuring me and he dropped out of school and wasn’t looking for a job mooching off his parents. I wanted someone with initiative and drive. 

“Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.” Only it wasn’t as satisfying. 

Houston got word that Oliver and I split up and he gave me a call. He had moved in with his mom to help her pay for bills and stuff since his parents had decided to separate. I drove to him and we talked for a long time and I told him why I had made my choices. 

He grinned and told me what a little shit I was. That he was sorry for behaving how he did. We went swimming the next night and we fooled around in the pool and then he carried me inside and threw me in his bed. 

Commence one of the most intense fuck sessions of my life. 

It was as if he were taking his anger out on me but in a “gentle” way? I can’t explain it without getting graphic. I just remember his tounge curling around my ear while his hand serviced down there and simultaneously fucked me like crazy.  The multitasking of that man. We had sex three times that night and then I left in the morning. 

The next days to follow were stagnant. It was as if time was slowly leaking from a hairline crack in the walls of life. Talking to him was… uninteresting and boring. I had nothing to say to him and he had nothing to say to me. We left things there for the most part. Talked on and off but our “relationship” went away very fast. 

At my job at Haveys Hardware my interest went in another direction. l, against my better judgment, (I have a rule about not dating people I work with. Guess I revolted against my own rules.) met a on site technician/repair guy who was too intelligent for his own good. *Tommy #1*

Tommy was an extremely intelligent guy. Majored in rocket science. Kind of guy who makes you think of “Sheldon” from “The Big Bang Theory.” Only not as intense. That relationship was purely innocent at the start. 

We almost had sex one night in the back of his car but there was no pennitration. He immediately accused me of having a STD the next day when his dick was a little sensitive and itchy. 

I went and got tested, after waiting days for that result and feeling completely mortified the test came back negative. I informed him I didn’t have and STD and he apologized. (He had honestly made me feel so gross and awful.)  Our relationship got rockier from there. 

The sex was good-ish and when I told him what I liked in bed he complied. It was faked, forced even and I told him to forget what I liked and to just be himself. He felt insulted and upset so, that didn’t go over very well. 

After that I couldn’t stick it out with him.

He knew he was smart, he made it known. He put others, (including myself) down and constantly disregarded people’s feelings. I pushed him away and eventually broke up with him shortly after Valentine’s Day. He was upset but remained professional at work. 

Two short weeks after we split up I met someone else. Someone who would make the next 9 months of my life mostly miserable. 

*man do I pick ’em: for a while I seemed to date guys who smoked and drank and made poor decisions. So that would be sarcasm my friends. 

*Tommy: I literally went on to get involved with 3 other Tommies, you’ll hear about it later.